so for anybody who doesnt know, which would be the lot of ya, i spent the last 5 days in the hospital.  i started having weird chest pains.  the first time, it wasnt for long so it just seemed like a fluke.  then withing the next week it would randomly come back but each time for a longer period than the last.   thursday night it happened so i decided to go into the emergency room so i could get this crap taken care of.  i already knew i had high blood pressure, and due to my stupidity i did not take care of myself like i should have after receiving such news.  so they tell me my BP is way too high, and id have to be admitted so they can stabilize me and figure this whole situation out.  so i also knew i had a sleeping disorder called sleep apnea, and those of you who know me well enough know i have it.  its when i sleep at night i stop breathing so my heart and my brain dont get much needed oxygen, not to mention it interupts my sleep so i dont get a completely restfull sleep EVER.  long story short the doc wasnt being straight up with me, neither was anybody else.  i was supposed to come home saturday, then sunday, then monday, then finally today i took manners into my own hands, and made the decision to leave.  not to be worried i will be fine, my life as of now has and will be changed forever.  i now know for sure i am diabetic, i have high blood pressure, and sleep apnea.  the combination of which (going untreated) is highly dangerous.  so now im on meds, i sleep with a machine on my face, and i have worked out a diet and workout schedule for myself which i am going to stick to, or my quality of life will suffer greatly.  its good, its a wakeup call.  its high time i loose this extra persons worth of weight connected to me.  i need health, i need support.  so if you se me drinking a soda, kill me.  if you see me eating poorly, shoot me between the eyes.

up and up

so my hairs are growing out again.  my beard is coming back in.  im going to make my own clothes here soon, i smile for no reason.  things are looking up!